Forum - I honestly can't believe how bad at writing some people are
Obviously I am not included in this
0 | I'm sure you all, or most of you know I am younger than all you old farts. But I mean come on, in 10th grade you should be able to write something decent. Today in english we had 15 minutes to write a short story. These are what people submitted. Those toward the end were submitted closer to the end of the time limit. GUESS WHICH ONE IS MINE. Keep in mind this is an honors class. ORIGINAL POST Period Two 10/5/09 Tell a short story about an event in your life. Remember to focus on a specific event, don't try to cover too much, and elaborate, add imagery, and add details. Have fun with this! « back | comment » COMMENTS 12 records oldest to newest | newest to oldest Monday, October 5, 2009 Two years ago, during summer, my grandfather from my dad's side got sick. When i heard the news i felt as if my heart was about to fall of my chest. My family and i felt horrible, and immediately started packing to go to Venezuela. When we arrived we went straight to the hospital, were our grandpa was. I did not see my grandpa for weeks, he had to get surgery done near his heart, and had to stay in a separate part of the Hospital. We stayed in Venezuela for two months taking care of him, and helping him recuperate. He got better, and when he was able to walk and move around freely, we had to come back to the US. Two years later, my grandpa is better than ever. We went on a cruise in the caribbean with him, and had lots of fun. I love my grandpa, because he has always been there for us. This was our way of paying back for all his help. I am glad we can keep on having him in our family, and we can keep on loving him. posted 10/5/2009 9:16 AM Monday, October 5, 2009 December 35,2006. That was the day I got my first camera. It was a good beginner camera, the nikon d40 it was small and light weight. It didn't look like much compared to my friends nikon d2h, but the d40 had all I needed. It came with a 18-55mm lens, an extra battery, charger, lens cleaning kit, and a neck strap to top it all off. It was my most prized possession at the time no one could tell me different. Today I have upgrade to a nikon d70 with a 50mm lens, an sb-600 off camera flash and a whole studio set-up. I have progressed and my nikon d40 sits in my bag, but i will never forget the day I got my first camera. posted 10/5/2009 9:21 AM The most recent event of my life would be last weekend when I went to Orlando with my friends to go to Halloween horror nights. Now, before I go on about this eventful night you must know I get scared very easily. We arrived at Universal at around 6 pm where i saw not only one of my ex-girlfriends, but two of them as well as their families. After the very awkward chat with the ex's we went on to go to the scare zones which are areas where anyone can scare the living crap out of you. After getting my heart rate up to a very high number we then went on to go into the haunted houses. there were different themes, such as "saw, chucky, dracula, and the wolfman" Some were much scarier than others, for me the dracula house definatly got my vote however when I was in the "chucky" house there was a wall of teddybears out of which came a perfectly camouflaged man in teddy bear suit. Because i was not looking directly at this teddy bear monster it looked as if the wall was falling on me so I shoved the "wall" back, only to hear a thud and see it was a person. I apologized then continued on with the night. posted 10/5/2009 9:22 AM Monday, October 5, 2009 I don't understand Geometry. Not only do I have the worst teacher that speaks in monotone throughout his entire lecture, but nothing makes sense. Last Friday we all received our test back from the week before, as usual I FAIL. He gives me a five minute lecture "Blah, blah, blah." continuing on how I don't try, this frustrates me so I began to cry. Clearly, I have a STRONG dislike for Geometry and my teacher shouldn't be working with children. D: posted 10/5/2009 9:23 AM This is a true story Mrs. [name edited out because I know you will stalk her]. One night around 12:05 a.m. I was watching television before I was going to go to sleep. As I was dazed by the show, I heard a beeping noise that sounded like my house alarm. I frantically was running around my room scared for my life. I reached for my bat and exited the room quietly. When in my hall way,I thought to myself if he had and type of weapon or not. I knew he had to come from my front door since my room is next to the garage door. I walked silently down the hall way, then out of the blue sprinted down sliding down to dodge anything that came near my head. As I was sliding, I covered my ears so they wouldn't pop from the gun shots. When I stopped, I noticed my parents in front of me with a confused look on their faces. They told me that the fire alarm ran out of batteries and beeped. After, I got back up and didn't say a word to my parents and went to sleep. posted 10/5/2009 9:24 AM Monday, October 5, 2009 It was just an ordinary day. I just woke up and started on my morning routine. School was a drag like always, with nothing exciting going on. My friend decided that I should go over to his complex and hang out there since it was the end of the school week. It seemed like harmless fun, but it was about to get a lot more interesting. When I got to his house he and I went to the local plaza to eat. On the way there my friend spotted a lone shopping cart on the sidewalk. The persuasive person he is, he told me to get in the shopping cart so we could ride around. Out of his persuasive voice I was eager to get inside. I got inside with little difficulty. So he started pushing me around, laughing as we go. He then felt a sudden vibration in his pocket, his phone. He answered it, leaving me near the edge. However, he forgot that he left me on the ramp side, where it leads directly into the streets. Suddenly the cart started to roll down and in an instant I was in the middle of the road in desolation. My friend was completely oblivious to this as he kept talking. I was very nervous, but then the car came. It was big Hummer with a woman completely unaware that I was on the road because she was too busy on the phone also. I tried to roll my way into safety, but it didn't bulge at all. The monster truck came closer and closer as my eyes grew wider and wider. As I saw my life flash before my eyes I was pulled by an angel, which was actually my friend. He apologized, laughed at my hysterical moment of desperation, and said to just forget what just occured. But trust me, I will be reminiscing this for a long time. posted 10/5/2009 9:25 AM Well it all started when i was five years old. It was summer and we were close to December it was almost Christmas. Almost every day i would go to my grandmas house and play there because my cousins live a block away. They were all older than me and in size i was way smaller than them. We would play hide and go seek and i would always win because they would never find me. On a great morning we were all in the pool my uncle, aunt, cousins and my sister. We were having a great time and we had finished eating a barbecue, after a long time in the water everybody had left except my sister and me. My grandmas pool was all made out of little marble squares and my sister found one loose so we decide to go play a game. The game was to throw it and go look for it under the water but it wasn't easy because it was the same color as the whole pool. Suddenly i was swimming right above my sister and as soon as she found it she lifted it up and cut my face accidentally. I was bleeding all over the pool and it looked like the movie JAW'S i got out and my grandma put a towel on my face and it was all over. I never got stitches and i don't remember the pain at all .... the end posted 10/5/2009 9:25 AM Being sick is the absolute worst! Yeah, you get to miss school, but whats the fun in that if your overloaded with 100 problems in Math, a 3 page essay in english, and a test retake in psych thats at least ten times harder than the original. Yeah its not that great. I woke up on that Wednesday afternoon feeling the worst I've ever felt, well at least thats what I thought at that moment. My nose was stuffy, and i couldnt breathe. My head felt like there was a hammer pounding at it all throughout the day. My muscles were achy. I could barely get out of bed. I took as many herbal drugs as i could find and loaded up with motrin and tried to fall back asleep but i couldnt. I ended up sitting on the couch watching pointless reality crap that they put on in the middle of the day on weekdays all day long. It was the most unproductive day ever. I HATE being sick! posted 10/5/2009 9:26 AM Over the summer i worked at the Y. We went on a field trip to go Ice Skating. Forgetting we were going ice skating i stupidly decided to wear shorts and a short sleeve tee shirt to work that day. I arrived at the YMCA to 18 screaming five years old waiting to hop on the bus and squirm around in their seats. After the hour bus ride we trudged off the bus and into a building full of screaming kids. Adding to the mayhem, i successfully managed to put ice skates on all the rambunctious kids. Guiding them to the ice rink i helped them get onto the ice. After about five or six second on the ice every single kid was laying on the ice crying that they couldn't get up. I managed to take one or two out for a couple of minutes and kept switching off. After on hour of confusion and kids running around we loaded all the kids back onto the bus and headed home. posted 10/5/2009 9:26 AM One event in my life is the time when I was really young and I took my first trip to the dentist. I remember the feeling of sheer terror walking in, or I should say be dragged in by my mom, and knowing that something bad was going to happen. It's like going to Walmart late at night on Christmas eve trying to get a present and knowing you won't be able to get it. The anticipation of waiting in the car getting to the store felt the same here; waiting in this lobby of hell, wanting to be free of this place. I know what goes on here, I know the pain this place will cause me. I know because my sister told me. She said "Don't listen to the adults, they are lying to make you feel better. The dentist is a horrible person who will rip your teeth out and sell them to gypsies." Why? Why would anyone take their child to the dentist? Is it because I was bad? I looked around the waiting room, pictures of children laughing and playing. There was also teeth, giant teeth. I know it meant that these painted children seemed happy, but I certainly was not. My mom sat me down in a chair next to a kid not much younger than I. I looked at him, tears falling from his puffy eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked. He ignored my question, and cried until his mom took him by the hand and quietly said to his face, "That's enough! It's already been done so stop crying. We are leaving." This strange kid who I had known for only a moment, he showed me what I would become. I waited and waited for something to happen. It seemed like hours had passed in this chair. I no longer looked at the walls, the children's eyes no longer showed happiness, rather, they showed horror and pain from having teeth pulled out. The teeth on the wall looked eerily at them, smiling it's black-tooth grin. There was no one else in the lobby. My mom looked at her watch, "Can't they hurry up?" she asked herself. The woman behind the counter said it would be five more minutes, but I knew better. I knew the lies and deception that accompanied this words. It would not be five minutes. It would be more than that, more than one could bare to take in this room. After what seemed like an eternity, we were finally called in. I felt my teeth for what I thought would be the last time. Then, I met him. The current bane of my existance, the dentist. He gave a friendly hello to my mom, and calmly pointed to the chair and commanded me to sit. I did as told, hoping obediance would somehow spare me of the pain that will follow. He took a seat next to me, and took one of the many instruments that would kill me. He turned it on, it made a buzzing noise that made my body shake. He looked at my face and said, "Say ahhhh." posted 10/5/2009 9:29 AM August 2009 i went to Warped Tour. It was probably one of the best days of summer. First, we heard Saosin play and they were good. Attack Attack was pretty good too. By the time we saw The Devil Wears Prada we were all amazed by these guys. After them, I got to see my favorite band Underoath. We then got some autographs, and bought some shirts so later we could see Chiodos play. After the day was over, we were exhausted. We smelled like garbage. We smelled like other people's sweat, sunblock, smoke, and even dirt. It was definitely worth it, though. posted 10/5/2009 9:30 AM Important events happen everyday in our lives, because everyday lived is important. However some events stand out as more important, and they are remembered as long as one is alive. A very important event on my life was when I moved from Venezuela, my country of origin, to Weston, U.S. which is the city in which I currently reside. I still remember the day that I traveled here like if I did it all over again just yesterday. The plane was to leave at eleven in the morning, which meant I had to bee in the airport by seven, which would not have been much of a problem if I had not finish packing at two in the morning therefore having no time to sleep. But we finally left the house at around five, I was pretty nervous as to what to expect when I got to Miami, which was ridiculous since I had already been here three summers and four winters, but never had I come to live. We got to the airport at around six thirty, and from that time until we actually boarded the plane a whole year seemed to pass by. The time had finally come, so me and my brother said goodbye to my dad ( for he had to stay a little longer for business, but my mom was already in Weston,) and went on the plane. I arrived in the Miami International Airport at the expected time and embraced my mom as soon as I saw her, feeling now more nervous than before because this had become reality and I didn't know what to expect. Now three years have gone by, and I have adapted to the U.S. system very well. I am in school doing good and I already overcame the two things I fear I wouldn't had: make friends and learn the language. posted 10/5/2009 9:30 AM |
Oct 05 @ 19:41  |
0 | tl;dr but i can assure you that all of those people have no future in any pursuits that involve journalism, english, and/or literature |
Oct 05 @ 20:45  |
0 | [QUOTE USER="repto" TIME="1254775537"][...]i can assure you that all of those people have no future in any pursuits that involve journalism, english, and/or literature[/QUOTE] ^this. Seriously though, honors English for 10th grade? Reading the first few had me gouging my eyes out already. |
Oct 05 @ 21:41  |
0 | If you told me the original writer of Full Life Consequences was among these people.. I wouldn't even be surprised. |
Oct 05 @ 23:34  |
0 | Honors class? I find it hard to believe. The majority of freshmen in my school can write something significantly better than most of these. And you were given 15 minutes? Some of these can't be more than a couple of sentences long. |
Oct 05 @ 23:42  |
0 | I used to think they were lying when they told us florida was one of the worst states for test scores. I now know how horribly retarded everyone is. |
Oct 05 @ 23:56 |
0 | Can't be as bad as in Quebec. A lot of people who recently became French teachers flunked the required tests and know as much about French as they do about nuclear physics. And from what I've been told, being a parent of a child in elementary school is a nightmare. They've changed what was being taught so much since I've been there (and it hasn't been THAT long), parents are completely helpless when it comes to helping with homework. |
Oct 06 @ 00:22 |
0 | We should gather up the minds of Libelldra and go into an underground bunk. Then when the world destroys itself we can unleash pokemon fanatic fury and rebuild it. |
Oct 06 @ 00:38 |
0 | [QUOTE USER="slowflake" TIME="1254788555"]Can't be as bad as in Quebec. A lot of people who recently became French teachers flunked the required tests and know as much about French as they do about nuclear physics. And from what I've been told, being a parent of a child in elementary school is a nightmare. They've changed what was being taught so much since I've been there (and it hasn't been THAT long), parents are completely helpless when it comes to helping with homework.[/QUOTE] You think French in Quebec is bad? Oh boy you should see English. True story incoming. In 11th grade for my English final, our teacher got the correction grid early. The final is an essay by the way. Feeling humorous she read it to us. Here's what it had. First criteria : Is the text written in English? 5 points. You read that right. Grade 11 English, if you write your final in flawless French you get 95%. Incidentally this isn't a school specific final or anything, this is government issued obligatory for all schools stuff. And you know what? About half the province fails this anyway. However you are correct about elementary schools. The "reform of education" or whatever they called it completely devastated it. Luckily I finished high school before it caught up there too. Back on topic, I stopped after I read this : "When i heard the news i felt as if my heart was about to fall of my chest." Second sentence of the first one. Just wow. |
Oct 06 @ 00:39  |
0 | Yeah, I basically skimmed each of the first half and found something that red flagged the composition as atrociously bad. Also, mind elaborating on this education reform and how it shattered elementary schooling? I find it interesting to say the least. Hell, I'm glad to have finished my education when I did, after finding out that the SATs were revamped. I'm great at writing and I usually enjoy doing it, but I absolutely detest writing assignments. Nothing is more boring than having to droll on about a subject predetermined without my choosing. So, you can imagine how happy I am that the SATs never included a writing portion while I was still in school. Whew. (I certainly don't mind posting walls of text which droll on about subjects of my choosing, though, which is a habit I'm trying to stop. I deleted a large paragraph from this post a few seconds ago.) |
Oct 06 @ 02:13 |
0 | [QUOTE]I don't understand Geometry. Not only do I have the worst teacher that speaks in monotone throughout his entire lecture, but nothing makes sense. Last Friday we all received our test back from the week before, as usual I FAIL. He gives me a five minute lecture "Blah, blah, blah." continuing on how I don't try, this frustrates me so I began to cry. Clearly, I have a STRONG dislike for Geometry and my teacher shouldn't be working with children. D:[/QUOTE] This is 10th Grade honors English? This is absolutely pathetic. It's short, it's uneducated, and surely an F. Besides, I'm in Geometry in 8th grade and doing just find. I'm stuggling to see how this guy is honors English. Besides, he cries in Math. P.S. I'm guess this one is yours. [QUOTE]Monday, October 5, 2009 It was just an ordinary day. I just woke up and started on my morning routine. School was a drag like always, with nothing exciting going on. My friend decided that I should go over to his complex and hang out there since it was the end of the school week. It seemed like harmless fun, but it was about to get a lot more interesting. When I got to his house he and I went to the local plaza to eat. On the way there my friend spotted a lone shopping cart on the sidewalk. The persuasive person he is, he told me to get in the shopping cart so we could ride around. Out of his persuasive voice I was eager to get inside. I got inside with little difficulty. So he started pushing me around, laughing as we go. He then felt a sudden vibration in his pocket, his phone. He answered it, leaving me near the edge. However, he forgot that he left me on the ramp side, where it leads directly into the streets. Suddenly the cart started to roll down and in an instant I was in the middle of the road in desolation. My friend was completely oblivious to this as he kept talking. I was very nervous, but then the car came. It was big Hummer with a woman completely unaware that I was on the road because she was too busy on the phone also. I tried to roll my way into safety, but it didn't bulge at all. The monster truck came closer and closer as my eyes grew wider and wider. As I saw my life flash before my eyes I was pulled by an angel, which was actually my friend. He apologized, laughed at my hysterical moment of desperation, and said to just forget what just occured. But trust me, I will be reminiscing this for a long time. [/QUOTE] |
Oct 06 @ 02:21  |
0 | That one is badly written, too. If he did write it, he should be embarassed to admit it. |
Oct 06 @ 03:01 |
0 | In my 9th grade honors english (ha, walrus and I are even younger than gameboy) no one but my friend and I new what darwin's theory of natural selection was. My friend said out loud that that proved most of us shouldn't be there. I called them all evil stealers for luls and the english teacher just blamed the event on me and moved on. |
Oct 06 @ 03:25  |
0 | Mine is actually the one that is a solid block of text. The Walrus, a girl wrote that so I guess you could expect to to be horribly written |
Oct 06 @ 10:27 |
0 | [QUOTE USER="gameboy" TIME="1254824825"]Mine is actually the one that is a solid block of text. The Walrus, a girl wrote that so I guess you could expect to to be horribly written[/QUOTE] I'm glad that being a girl automatically means one can't write. =P |
Oct 06 @ 15:39 |
0 | [QUOTE USER="thewalrus" TIME="1254830993"]The dentist one?[/QUOTE] yeah that one. I know it's not the greatest, but it at least looks something like you would expect to come out out in the time limit. The reason there seems to be no paragraphs is because the way I cop/pasted and it somehow deleted them don't worry I am not a moron about paragraphs. "I'm glad that being a girl automatically means one can't write. =P" When you are a sophmore yes it does ;p |
Oct 06 @ 19:17 |
0 | Yeah, that was pretty shitty, also. Poor punctuation, and your very first sentence needlessly uses the word 'when', when it isn't necessary. lawl edits |
Oct 06 @ 19:21 |
0 | [QUOTE USER="repto" TIME="1254856863"]Yeah, that was pretty shitty, also. Poor punctuation, and your very first sentence needlessly uses the word 'when', when it isn't necessary. lawl edits[/QUOTE] WELL YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH GO FUCKING DIE THAT WAS A+ 110% SHIT OK SO FUCK OFF |
Oct 06 @ 19:57 |
0 | You know, you do look pretty feminine in a lot of your photos. Perhaps you know how sophomore girls can suck so badly at writing because you're living proof? HE HE HE |
Oct 06 @ 21:44 |
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